Celebrities Should Share More Talent, Less Cash
Hollywood A-Listers Have Experience That Money Can't Buy
Jul 13, 2009
It is high time that Hollywood celebrities chip in and do their part during these “tough economic times” - a phrase that makes readers everywhere want to upchuck their McMocoa McCoffee from McDonalds (since pricey Starbucks Mocoafrappacaffacino’s are no longer financially feasible).
Writing a check to those in need is always a great thing but sharing the knowledge of life experience is priceless.
Recession Fighting - Celebrity Style
Here are a few suggestions on how A-listers can share their expertise and make a difference in the lives of up and coming entertainment industry hopefuls:
Barbra Streisand School for Divas – Throwing small appliances at hapless staff does not make one a diva. Hollywood is woefully lacking that class factor that studio stars of yesteryear possessed. Would Marlene Dietrich have thrown a hissy fit and demanded the entire lighting crew be fired if she saw a hint of dark shadow under her eyes? Heavens no! Dietrich would simply ask the director to call for an extended break then she would relight the whole set – by herself. Now that’s class! The last remaining old-school diva is Barbra. It’s up to her to set the newbie’s straight.
What about Joan Crawford? - Would she let loose on an underperforming housekeeping staff for failing to live up to her high standards? Never! She would simply get down on the floor and proceed to show the poor woman how you really clean a floor. That’s how you show a person who’s the boss!
George Clooney Boot Camp – Aspiring starlets need to spend a minimum of three months under the intense media scrutiny that otherwise unknowns suddenly attract once they become arm candy for George. A taste of the media game of “when you’re hot you’re hot - when you’re not, you’re not” should prepare even the most shrinking of violets for a long career in the fickle world of Tinsel Town.
Marketing by Madonna 101 – When Harvard business school incorporates your career model into their curriculum this certainly qualifies you as an expert in your field. Free cone bra with textbook purchase.
Ladylike Lessons by Lindsay – At first glance, the most jaded reader might scoff at the notion of Lindsay Lohan teaching etiquette to aspiring actors but let us not forget that “experience is the best teacher”. Topics of discussion will include “The Importance of Undergarments”, “Can You Really Party Too Much?”, and “How To Handle Fame AND Your Family”.
Baldwin Family Spiritual Retreat – Pursuing a rise to fame and fortune can be soul sucking. Rev. Stephen Baldwin can put weary Hollywood wannabes on the path to spiritual wholeness. Child care provided by Alec Baldwin.
Big Daddy’s House – A special class taught by Hugh Hefner to prepare young actresses for a career in television. A short stay at the Big House provides all the ins and outs of starring on a weekly television program. No appropriate wardrobe for weekly tv? No problem here!
Love By Elizabeth – Hollywood legend Dame Elizabeth Taylor gives key insight into handling brooding Welsh actors, finding love with impresario showmen, how to avoid alcoholic hoteliers, and shows you how to pack a mean lunch that any contractor would be proud to open on a job site.
Why Can't We All Just Get Along? Last but certainly not least, how about some warm fuzzies at the Mel Gibson Inter-Faith Exploration Conference? Group hug is optional.
