Angelina, Brad, Jenn, Vince

The next big thing in tourism is going to be hunting down and cuddling celebrity babies

It's been far too long since I last sat down to write and my excuse is that it's been a very hectic week.

While Angie was in Namibia delivering her Shiloh, I was having my insides explored by a surgeon in Newport Beach. It was all unexpected, dramatic and exceptionally painful. Now that the worst is behind me, I'm out of bed and off the drugs, I'm looking at the celebrity world with new clarity.

First: Is it just me or does no-one else think it's weird that Jennifer Aniston is dating a man who happened to star in a film (Mr. & Mrs. Smith) with her ex-husband and where that ex, Bra, Pitt, met his newest catch? I don't know, it all just seems so let's-sleep-with-our-neighbours-until-we-run-out-of-ways-to-hurt-each-other to me. Maybe the truth is Brad really wanted Vince but wasn't brave enough to proclaim his love. Or maybe Angie wanted Jenn but since she'd already played the bisexual game, Angie decided her flavour of the month would be Hollywood's biggest superstar.

Or maybe this is all just nonsensical midnight ramblings from a feverish patient.

Second: That Brad and Angie, man, they really are giving celebrities a bad name. Selling pics of their newborn with the proceeds going to charity. Next thing you know, pedestrians will be able to hold the babe in their arms, recreate La Pieta, and be snapped by a photographer for just $100,000. Forget about paying big bucks to take a tour of outer space - the next big thing in tourism is cuddling for a minute with the infants of mega-stars.

I, for one, am longing for the days when stars were caught driving drunk on the 405 with their toddlers bouncing around in the back seat. It was so much simpler then to look down on them.

Until next time...