Britney Spears divorcing Federline

Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Philippe were a shocker. But K-Fed? Not so much

Shocker! So Britney Spears is finally kicking her hubby of two years to the curb. The tarty pop singer filed for divorce from Kevin Federline today in L.A. Superior Court citing irreconcilable differences.

Want to know what the differences were? Let’s hazard a few guesses (and these are entirely culled from my imagination):

- Britney discovered Kevin’s fathered children with 21 other women, not just Shar Jackson of Moesha fame and fortune.

- She couldn’t stand his low riders anymore.

- She thinks his singing sucks and couldn’t imagine having to listen to a lifetime of off-key crooning.

- She’s secretly still in love with Justin Timberlake.

- Kevin’s given Britney an heir and a spare so he’s no longer useful. (Plus she froze his sperm in case she wants another kid, a girl, perhaps, who would be a genetic match for Sean Preston, 1, and two-month-old Jayden James.

The couple who married in September 2004 and reportedly have signed an "iron-clad" pre-nuptial agreement. Spears has requested legal and physical custody of the two children but is not seeking any spousal support.

The split comes just days after Federline released his debut rap album Playing with Fire, which has been largely ignored by mainstream media and music industry insiders.

Spears' divorce announcement comes just hours after a Los Angeles judge ruled the singer could not sue an American magazine for defamation after it published details of an alleged secret sex tape.

In October 2005, Us magazine ran the headline: "Brit & Kev: Secret Sex Tape? New parents have a new worry: racy footage from 2004."

The couple denied the existence of such a tape and filed a lawsuit against the publication saying the article was libeled them.

However, the judge ruled against the celebrity pop star, saying the issue at hand was whether or not it was defamatory "to state that a husband and wife taped themselves engaging in consensual sex."

The judge went on to say that Spears has "put her modern sexuality squarely, and profitably, before the public eye" and dismissed the $10-million (USD) suit.

Pull up a chair and stay awhile. I’m sure more trashy details of their disastrous marriage will surface in the weeks ahead.